Name One Thing You Can’t Stand
Written by James
September 16, 2008
What do you hate?
No, really. Not everything in life makes you jump for joy, and there are parts of role-playing games that just make you want to cringe. It’s okay, let it out. I know, smell the roses and all, but those roses grow best in a heap of manure.
So let’s have a bitchfest.
“Oh, come now. How immature!” No, really, it’s not, actually. Voicing strong opinions about something that you really don’t like can be liberating and positive. Not only that, spitting out what you hate can stir up debate and conversation that may have you seeing the situation from a different perspective.
“No, honestly, I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings.” What makes you think people would be hurt? In an environment where permission is granted to speak freely, there’s no need for that. It’s not an attack fest. It’s a bitchfest. Vent your woes and angst and get it off your chest.
Alright, I’ll start. I’ll show you how it’s done. In a polite, generalized and non-offensive manner, I’ll tell you what I hate:
Sappy romance and dungeon crawls. Combat scenes, blood and gore. Action-only focus. Simpering princesses. Political mysteries and plotlines that I have to solve. Lizards.
(Just threw that last one in to see if you were paying attention.)
See? That wasn’t hard. I didn’t point at anyone or make any reader feel uncomfortable. It was a generalized, “I hate this,” directed at no one at all. And there are plenty of people who feel differently about those very things I hate.
Well, good! Bring it on, I say. If you’re the crawliest crawler of dungeons galore, tell me why it’s so great. Let me know what I’ve missed. Ask me what I don’t like about it (move, find treasure. Move, find treasure, move… boring). Show me what it really can be, what perspective you have and why you love it.
Or, tell me what you hate, and we’ll cackle over the fact that we’ve both vented out our worst enemies. Do you hate long descriptions? Or short dialogue? Do you hate invincible characters? Or not having trinkets to collect? Maybe you hate harpies or ogres or castle soldiers or high fantasy in general.
Everyone has their likes and dislikes. When you share as a group, you learn the boundaries of different players that you play with and learn ways you could change your views. You learn tolerance, at least. You learn something new, at best. You learn to agree and disagree, all carried out with style.
Now that’s what I call playing as a group.
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Ok, I hate the fact that’s it’s been over 12 years since I had a down home, better than great, all nighter that I didn’t realize it was an all nighter until I stood up and almost fell over with exhaustion while simultaneously being blinded by the morning light.
I hate the fact that I know longer find it difficult to make the decision on whether to game (don’t really play anymore because of this) or go out and socialize. I blame this on the commercialization of the game - see below.
I hate the fact the gaming books keep changing every spring. I think this robs the game of some of it’s authenticity. I had a DM who’s Player Handbook and Dungeon Masters guide were over 6 years old - he was a god. I started in the AD&D 2nd Edition days where you were lucky to see an update every 10 years and the best thing that ever happen to me as a teenager was finally saving up enough money to get the Waterdeep box set and wallpaper my room in maps of Faerun.
I hate the fact that commercialization has taken all of the above away from me and my comrades. That’s what I hate.
Love the site. Love gaming. Keep it real.
~Lewis
Oh how fun! Let’s see, I hate:
Mundane chit chat that drags out too long with very little purpose. Little or no outward conflict. I must rile folk!
On the other hand, I love:
When other characters steer mine in a direction she refuses to go. Love writing that!
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People who make it impossible to get through a situation that should be negotiable without fighting. Particularly when it’s one of the few antagonists who actually has some redeeming qualities.
People who create perfectly good worlds, and then utterly trash them when making edition changes. (What White-Wolf did to the Labyrinth in Exalted 2nd Ed comes to mind–dumping Dante’s Inferno into an otherwise Eastern-style death-and-reincarnation system because you can’t be bothered to do something new with the worst part of the Underworld is shoddy.)
Players with entitlement complexes. I don’t care what the fluff promises or what the dominant stereotype of the game system is, you’ve only just got your godlike powers and they’re no excuse to run roughshod over everything and everyone. Particularly in defiance of verisimilitude.
The unthinking cling to fantasy world stereotypes. We’re here because we have
People who play their female characters all stereotypical. Particularly when it’s always the same stereotype. PARTICULARLY when said stereotype involves sleeping with everything that moves. Need I go on?
And HATE changing editions, because the only way to play in what I’m comfortable in tends to be to run it myself.
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Homogeneous populations. Damsels that are constantly in distress. Cybersluts. Romance-centered plotlines. The misuse of “smirk.” Characters that react to a posts’ narration instead of to the character’s actual actions. Powergamers. Personified pets. Cute pets. Overly intelligent pets. RPGs’ chronic overabundance of emaciated characters. Romance novel names. Superfluous swearing. Inane OOC threads. Extensive and irrelevant inner monologuing (guilty). eRPers. The word “chuckle” (though it’s necessary, I admit). Shallow character descriptions. Pervstaches (IRL, actually).
Ahh, you’re right. I DO feel better. :~)